i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
