My pussy is not your playground.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
