Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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