i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
