Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize