Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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