does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He felt like a one man threesome
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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