just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
