Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He kissed a someone with a penis
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize