He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
if only i could text you this smell
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
