next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
