i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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