Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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