They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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