Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
