There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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