but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
