I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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