Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
