I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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