You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
