alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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