hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
