I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he puts the penis in happiness.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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