I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
