What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
