I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
