guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
