the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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