i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
