I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
