I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
