I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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