i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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