I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize