i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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