Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
