I just cut my nipple shaving
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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