just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
