Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
