I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize