We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
