ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
