i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
