I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
fuck your aforementioned shoe
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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