the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
