i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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