chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
