She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
