I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
