Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
