Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
sarcasm needs its own font
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
