maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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