I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize