I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I met the friendliest cop last night
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
