If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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