after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
