Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
