I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
