There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
