Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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