Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
