I'm jealous of your bromance
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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