Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
