i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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