remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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