if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
