lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
