She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
