she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize