you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
