doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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