currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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